Saturday, June 14, 2008


This morning, being a perfect lazy Saturday.. .. the husband and I took a quiz on "What kind of marriage do you have ?" and found that we are actually quite a compatible couple (much to our surprise!!). Sure we have our pitfalls, but we work hard to overcome them- the quiz results said .
The husband, sensing my glee...thought of being witty and announced that he thought an extra marital affair would make our marriage even better!! ( He does it all in jest ..but I think he secretly wishes that some pretty young thing would fall head over heels for him and make him feel like a college kid again!....)
Of course what followed is a chase that ended in him being subjected to pillow blows.....
In those rare moments when we are chatty (and not biting each others head off), we have often had long debates on extra marital affairs. He justifies that it is necessary to have an extra marital affair or at least a no-strings attached fling , to keep a marriage fresh.
He claims that men usually get into extra marital affairs initially just for the sex, and it takes a lot from a man to make an emotional commitment to the "other woman" when he gets involved . The truth according to him, is that and a man can never "get over" his wife. In fact the man would always come back to his wife and she will only remain his true companion.
Well, we have seen that haven't we? In n-number of books or films a man has a whirlwind romance , and then when things do not really work out between in an autumn-spring relationship, he comes back a broken man to his benevolent middle aged wife , and she the magnanimous, dignified woman....accepts him and ironically nurses him back to his emotional health.
However, if the woman happens to look for a little appreciation from another man who may just feel like her a "woman" instead of a housekeeper she is promptly termed a whore and is likely to be reminded of her "sin" every single day of her life, just in case her husband does accept her back . In most cases though, a woman is made to leave her home hearth and rot in hell....So much for equal rights in the society!
But those are tales of the days gone by, the modern woman is unlikely to do any such thing, and may just throw her husband out of her life or better still have an affair herself, but the fact remains that she will hurt and blame herself for "driving her husband" away. The revenge will only be an afterthought. She is likely to ask herself "What did he find in her that I couldn't offer?" and I am not talking about the carnal pleasures here...There is much more to a marriage for a woman ..its the companionship that a wife cherishes the most and is possessive about. The ability to be a part of each other's moments that makes a marriage. What breaks her heart is that another woman is sharing her moments of simple joys or little sorrows with her man.

Often there is a brouhaha about him "sleeping with the other woman" but what a man needs to realise is that once he has an extra -marital affairs, his wife will never ever be able to go to sleep without a care in world once she is his arms .....

THIS is what I have against extra marital affairs...and I am positive other wives feel much the same (I hope the husbands are listening!!)


The ketchup girl said...

Girl, first of all, lemme give u a virtual hug and thank you for getting back to blogging. Among all blogs i visit i came to your space regularly only to see an almost blank page staring at me.

About extramarital this point in time i have 5 very close couple friends ALL going thru this modern day menace. its spreading like an epidemic.

And what u say is right, while men might want to experiment and still want to get back (with such supreme confidence that their wives will accept them back), women never get the same taste of reprieve....strange are the ways of this world.

Debdatta said...

Extra-marital! - i(we) have given it as much thought as most couples do. My take is that a one night stand won't affect me, but when i asked the husband about his opinion on the same - it would be the end of the marriage. without dwelling on how society has different standards for the two sexes, my questions have always revolved around 'how moral/immoral is it?' I haven't yet found my answer....

Gunjan Pai said...

gags, ur blog seems 2b revealing a different side of u